


Marshmallow World

by Drakey



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Christmas, F/F, F/M, M/M, Polyamory, Ski Trip Fic, oblivious boys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-17
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-15 19:31:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13037892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drakey/pseuds/Drakey
Summary: Ron loves Neville, but Neville loves Dean. Dean loves Seamus, and Seamus loves Ron. There must be a solution to all this, because it's been driving poor Harry crazy, and being stuck at a ski lodge with all his friends while they're all pining over each other is going to be awful if they don't fix it.And who the hell invited Cho?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I opened this up by taking inspiration from a funny skiing story posted in a Guardian article. Putting the action in a ski chalet in the first place is an idea borrowed from BloodyFlammable.

Draco Malfoy and his party arrived the same night the bear got drunk. It had been Harry and Ronin one room, Hermione and Ginny in another, with Neville, Dean and Seamus sharing a third room. There were enough rooms for all seven of them to sleep separately, but they'd been reserved already. That had been maddening enough, given how much the other men kept making googly eyes at each other. Truth be told, Harry felt a bit surrounded. Hermione and Ginny were pansexual, Ron and Seamus were gay, and Dean and Neville refused to label themselves. It wasn't as though anyone had done anything he was uncomfortable with, it just meant that there was almost certainly going to be a rise of sexual tension followed by a sudden and intense release of all the tension, and poor, unfortunate straight guy that he was, Harry would get to have no part in it.

Ron and Neville had just returned from putting the alcohol supply outside to chill in the snow when the door opened up and Draco Malfoy led in his cronies. Blaise Zabini darted an uncomfortable glance across the sitting room at Ron before he hung up his coat and sat down on one of the couches. Daphne and Astoria chattered happily at each other while they made a beeline for their room. The chalet was a Greengrass property in Canada, and the sisters insisted on getting their own room together, presumably to sabotage each other in their eternal battle over poor Draco's affections. The door closed behind them, and Harry started to say hello to Blaise when it opened again.

"Did you all really just leave me out in the cold?" Cho Chang scolded teasingly as she stepped in. The door swung shut again behind her, and Harry was so focused on her that he jumped about a mile in the air at the banging noise. His sudden twitch drew her attention, and Cho gasped when her eyes lighted on him. "Harry?" she said.

Harry waved shyly and turned his eyes to the ground. Cho looked over at Draco with just a hint of accusation on her face. Draco stared levelly back at her. "Problem, Cho?"

Harry reached the conclusion that Draco was and always would be a complete wanker.

A moment later, he added Ron to the total wanker list when he blurted out "Oh my god, that's why I never liked you in school! Harry had a crush and I was jealous!"

"What?" Cho stammered.

"You were jealous?" Neville pointed to Cho.

"You didn't like her?" Harry asked.

Draco snorted. "Always thought Weasley would've bent over for you, Scarhead."

Blaise got up and walked into his room. "Well, that was educational," Draco added.

Harry felt himself turning bright red. "Shut up, Ferret."

+----+

Cho knocked on Harry's door that night, and he answered in his pajamas. Molly had given him a new set of Christmas-tree-patterned ones, and of course the only woman who he might stand any kind of a chance with would get an eyeful of him looking like a small child about to tear into a stack of presents. Cho giggled and Harry sighed, blushed, and gestured her in the door. 

"I got the story out of Draco. He's matchmaking." Cho offered up the information like an olive branch, cautious and hopeful. She walked to the window and left the door open. Harry didn't close it, either. Cho looked out into the snow-covered woods behind the chalet. There was a brown bear trudging along in the distance, and Harry had been watching his stately progress, wondering whether or not to tell anyone about him. It wasn't as though he was a threat to them. Everyone in the chalet knew how to do an animal-repelling charm, and the slopes were warded to keep wildlife off the ski runs.

"He usually manages to keep the matchmaking away from the Christmas vacation." Harry sighed and walked over to look out the window with her. They watched the bear together for a few minutes, and then Cho spoke up again.

"So, Ron's gay now?"

"Ron's been gay this whole time. I mean, I'm sorry, but did you ever see him actually try to interact with girls when we were in school. The most success he had was with _Hermione,_ for Christ's sake. When Skeeter caught him at the Leaky with Blaise, I wasn't suprised so much as relieved. At least he has good taste in Slytherins." Harry snorted and went to sit down at the foot of the bed. "Still can't believe they fell apart. I mean, three years is a long time. I thought they were all true love and nauseating sweetness. I'm glad Blaise agreed to come along this time, but you saw how awkward it was."

"Was it as awkward as when you and Draco became friends?" Cho sank down into the one little chair in Harry's room.

"No, there's nothing more awkward than a three-hour conversation about whether you should feel more sorry about deliberately breaking someone's nose or accidentally almost killing them." A little sneer he'd picked up from Draco flickered across his face. "The prat kept trying to apologize to me. It took a lot of effort to not strangle him just so he'd have something to forgive."

Cho laughed, and they talked into the night, about Ginny and Hermione's upcoming wedding, and just how daft the Americans were being about their Muggle government (apparently, some fellow named Bush was in charge, and the muggles were very divided on the subject), and whether it was offensive to feel outnumbered by their largely-not-straight friends.

Neither of them noticed the sounds of the bear rooting around behind the chalet until it was much too late. A loud cracking noise and a pop with the sound of breaking glass sounded in the distance, and they both froze. Reflexes built up by the war came back in an instant, and they were on their feet, wands out as a sleepy Draco and Blaise emerged from their room. A frazzled Ron sat bolt upright on the couch, and Hermione and Ginny rushed from their room. Neville burst out of the room he was sharing with Dean and Seamus. Last to emerge were the Greengrass sisters, and Daphne looked thunderous. 

"Did someone leave food outside?" Daphne growled.

"Er," Ron muttered.

"We did," Neville said. "But it was just some wine and stuff. Did something get to it?"

"The bears around here will take anything you leave outside," Daphne lamented. "Let's go see if there's anything left."

There wasn't.

Twelve wands were trained on the bear fifteen minutes after they left the chalet. It was stumbling around. Twice, it tried to take a swipe at one of them, only to horribly misjudge the distance and ultimately swat its own nose. Draco was laughing hysterically, and Hermione looked like she wanted to get up close and comfort the huge apex predator. Meanwhile, the bear was smoking slightly at the mouth from consuming an entire bottle of firewhiskey and Harry was deciding that without booze, this might be the worst Christmas since the Camping Trip From Hell.


	2. Chapter 2

Seamus was surprisingly good on skis. Ron probably should have expected it, really, since Seamus was always managing to surprise him with some skill he had no right to have developed. But the thing was, being good on skis didn't make up for Seamus' not being Neville. Ron managed a clumsy dismount at the bottom of the slope and one of his skis went flying. Between this and the bear incident, he was beginning to become grumpy. 

Maybe not beginning.

Maybe already became.

Ron's ski bounced comically off the ground about ten feet away, arced overhead, and landed, quivering, in a snowbank off to the side. He removed the other, trudged to retrieve the stray, and slipped into the little cafe at the bottom of the slope. Seamus waved him over to where he had a pair of hot chocolates steaming merrily away. A small choir was singing Christmas carols in the corner, including a few of the more Muggle-friendly wizarding ones. The resort was technically licensed to serve Muggles, since all of its enchantments were subtle enough to escape notice or be written off as luck. Losing his ski probably should have broken Ron's leg, but the skis were all charmed not to let that happen. Ron plopped down across from Seamus and cast a glance at Harry and Cho sitting in the corner.

"They've been there ages, haven't they?" Ron asked.

Seamus nodded. "I don't think either of them wants to admit the snowboards were a bad idea in front of the other. Harry ate powder about thirty times on the way down. There was accidental magic. It was breathtaking."

"Sorry I missed it." Ron curled his fingers around the hot chocolate while the choir moved on to Jingle Bells. "So, um... Neville invited you and Dean?"

Seamus nodded. "Really, he just invited Dean. He fancies him. Of course, Dean invited me, because we're flatmates."

Ron smirked. "And he fancies you."

Seamus blushed, washing out his freckles in a deep red. "Dean? No. We're best mates. I mean, we fooled around a bit in school, but who doesn't? You remember that time I caught you and Harry-"

"We're not talking about the Great Porn Swap of Ninety-Four," Ron said firmly. After a few moments and a sip of his chocolate, he added "does Neville really fancy Dean?"

Seamus nodded. "Oh, yes. I've a mind to let him have at. Dean deserves a bit of happy after Justin."

Ron blinked. He chugged his chocolate, which was profoundly unwise and pretty painful, and stood up to head up the slope, tossing some money onto the table.

Ron nearly tripped over his own skis on the way out, and Seamus pursued him clumsily to the chair lift. 

"You all right?" Seamus asked.

"Not entirely," Ron told him as he backed gracelessly into position for the lift. Seamus lined up neatly and they boarded the lift.

"Want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Need to talk about it?"

"Fuck off, Seamus." Seamus leaned away from Ron. Ron cringed and laid a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. It's just... I've had a thing for Neville since... you remember that auror benefit last year? Neville playing poster boy because I left to sell pranks to schoolchildren and Harry is a quidditch star instead of an auror these days?"

"Oh." Seamus sighed a little dreamily. "I can understand that. Dean and I were both drooling over him. How'd Nev grow up to be the hot one, anyway?"

"He didn't. Harry did. But as Harry's straight inasmuch as he's not put his mouth on a bloke's business since that one time in fifth year, Nev's the hot one for our purposes."

Seamus smirked. "Blaise changed you. You just said 'inasmuch' and 'for our purposes' in the same sentence."

"So I talk like a ponce, who cares." Ron looked nervously down at the ground going by below. His skis rattled unpleasantly as their chair jolted, until Seamus broke their silence.

"Have you told him how you feel?"

Ron shook his head. "Neville's friends with Blaise. He'd be offended."

"Neville's friends with both of you," Seamus pointed out. "Blaise might be an auror, but that doesn't mean he and Blaise are closer than you and him are."

Ron stared moodily at the passing trees until they got off and headed together to the cabin. There were still bits and pieces of broken glass sitting around from Bearpocalypse. One large piece crunched under Ron's feet. "I'm just not sure I could take how awkward it would be if Neville and Dean got together."

Seamus rolled his eyes, opened the door to the room he was sharing with Neville and Dean, and strolled in while Ron went to the room he was sharing with Harry. He shucked a few layers, listening speculatively to the sounds of the cabin. There was squeaking and murmuring he didn't want to think about too much coming from Ginny and Hermione's room. The Greengrasses were out back tormenting Malfoy with some sort of snowman contest, Ron did not care _in the slightest_ where Blaise was, thank you very much, and Neville was... somewhere.

Presumably, so was Dean.

Ron tried not to think too hard about that, either.

The door flew open, a little too fast. Seamus marched in, carrying the last bottle of firewhiskey in the cabin, as far as Ron knew. "Hey, Ron, so, excellent idea, let's get blasted and have a staying-in-this-room contest."

Ron blinked. Seamus was bright red again, and there was a determined look in his eye as he approached.

"Did you walk in on them?"

"En flagrante delecto." Seamus handed Ron the bottle. 

Ron looked speculatively at it. "What are you drinking?"

+----+

Dean looked just a little shamefaced, Draco thought as he stepped back into the cabin. Potter looked rosy-cheeked from probably slightly more than just cold, and Cho was sitting pointedly far away from him. Longbottom kept staring at Dean, but Dean was looking at the door to Potter and Weasley's bedroom.

Ah. Potter must have walked in and gotten an eyeful.

Draco decided to make the ski trip destination Des Moines next year. Or some other place where no one could possibly fall in love.

And where had his one bottle of firewhiskey gone? He was going pull it out on Christmas Eve and end up looking like a hero.


End file.
